• Dalya Shaw

90% of Life is How We React To It



I mentioned last week that people will see and do things based on ‘who they are’ and not necessarily what it is. We have all experienced ‘bad things happening to good people’ and whilst I don’t like to label things ‘good or bad’, I believe they ‘are what they are’, the concept is clear to me. Sometimes we don’t have control over what happens in our lives nor the challenges that are presented to us. What I do believe, is we ALWAYS have control as to how we respond to these challenges. Our reactions not only affect us positively or negatively but also those that are exposed to them. Should we therefore be mindful about sharing ‘how long we have hated our horse’?! I have learnt so much in the last year and have had the opportunity to be so grateful for so many things. Ben has certainly encouraged me to open my eyes but he has given me one of the most precious gifts of all. He has presented me with the opportunity to continue to learn from and develop the most special relationships with the younger generation and so many of his friends. I am blessed to be included in many of their lives and I continue to admire them and be inspired at how they view the world so differently. There was a phrase being bounced around about 12 months ago “seeing the world through Ben’s eyes” and I realise now this is something that spread throughout his network. I have had numerous opportunities to step back and look at things as they are, and not necessarily just as I see them. I have observed from the sideline people’s actions and reactions and have been ‘fascinated’ by how completely different we can be. I have watched incredible acts of generosity and kindness from people doing things completely ‘others focused’ and without the need for recognition or validation. I have experienced that we find comfort in a variety of different things and for some it is in the simple act of giving. Many bury themselves in activities, books or writing, music or embracing their creativity through art. Others make themselves ‘feel better’ by exercising or getting back to soul basics through yoga and meditation. People all over the world, in every single culture have one thing in common. We are all striving to feel good and feel this emotion we label ‘happy’. This search continues in amongst our collecting more items to add to our trolleys of baggage we drag around on a daily basis. People will do almost anything to feel ‘happy’ even just for small snippets of time in their days. A little while ago, I was reading up on benefits of laughing, and by the way, our minds cannot distinguish between fake laughing and real. I read that not only is laughter an obvious characteristic of a positive emotion, but it has been found to be very effective in coping with sadness and managing stress. It has been further turned into a therapy to help deal with anxiety, depression and other negative mental states of being. I discovered that one of the benefits of laughing that applied to everyone was the release of endorphins that have been proven to relieve pain. Not only can laughing relieve pain but it can help us withstand more pain. Two groups of children submerged their hands in a bucket of ice water for as long as they could. The group watching funny videos were able to keep their hands in the water for 40% longer! Ben’s attitude was a very positive one and he made deliberate choices about feeling good. He loved to laugh and make others laugh and he was ‘others focused’. No one should be surprised then that BENefit team were very deliberate about every detail in the creation of LOL4Ben. It was specifically designed to honour Ben by continuing his legacy of ‘making the world a better place’ and being ‘others focused’. It was designed to be an evening where we could be together and feel good in his name and it was designed to keep Ben and what he would have wanted the main event. Our purpose is always to concentrate on the positives, and what we can do for each other as part of a much bigger picture, and together as a group. That is something we KNOW Ben would have wanted! Much Love Dalya xx💙


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Dalya Shaw

Speaking Services | Writing Services

e: dalya@dalyashaw.com

Brisbane, Australia

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