• Dalya Shaw

Reality vs Reality



I heard of a speaker recently who was talking about how we each have our own version of reality and how we each create them. He went on to say how psychiatrists now have evidence of this and that there is essentially no difference between the successful entrepreneur and the average person except the way they see their reality. It occurred to me that if we create our own reality then the foundation must be built on our feelings, thoughts, attitudes and subsequent actions, conscious or unconscious.

So perhaps negative or disempowering thoughts or attitudes would produce a negative or unhappy reality. Perhaps a victim’s or even passive attitude would then not be conducive to a mindset of creating a positive result or positive change. It is so easy to have an attitude of entitlement, like the world owes us something and this is often accompanied with a search for someone to blame. We sit back and wait but I wonder at what point are we responsible for ourselves? Our attitudes and thoughts and our subsequent actions? And ultimately the reality that becomes our own?

We are in a time where being able to adapt to change has become more crucial than any other time in history. I read recently we have developed a society that has more information and resources at our fingertips and faster than ever before, yet society as a whole, is more depressed, anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed than ever before. It seems we are all still self-focussed and desperately looking for ‘happiness’ yet most of us don’t really know what that means. Underneath the ‘more money’, ‘more toys’, we say we want, what do we really want our life to look like? What does our version of reality look like?

My thoughts were interrupted as I wrote this and I tuned into a conversation near me. A woman was saying how she had moved to a different seat to get away from her son, she continued that her life would be so much easier and simpler in the mornings as well and she could get up at 8am and leave home at 8.30 and still be on time. WOW! What can I even say here?? Part of me was overwhelmed with sadness and another part of me wanted to get up and slap her. I imagined her son thinking “my mum is sitting somewhere else because she wants some peace and quiet away from me…” 😥 wow

So, I believe happiness is an inside job and no amount of ‘stuff’ will satisfy our desire for happiness. I believe we already have all the ingredients to make us happy. Anyone that has ever succeeded at anything ever, did not blame someone else for their circumstances and did not expect the world to deliver a magic solution or a miracle fix to their problems. I glanced at a woman near me typing a document “Out of a job, into a career”. Precisely my point! What is it that we really want?

So how does this all relate to Ben this week? BENefit is hosting a night on the 22nd September. Lots have expressed interest, many have bought tickets and numerous will feel warm and fuzzy reading about it but will never attend. Many will see it as a fun night of comedy and fundraising but I see it as a window into a MUCH bigger room. I see it as a night to begin to create noise and public interest and to be the public voice for someone who continues to be the private voice to so many.

LOL4Ben is about being part of something, and instrumental in the beginning of a change, and all with a side of ‘giving back’. It is about celebrating a very special 15yo who actually did make a difference and continues to do so. A friend that continually put others first and gave with an abundant attitude and a son that was passionate about change in the world! To be part of this evening is to pay respect and to honour a young man that encouraged all those he came in contact with, to see a positive and wonderful version of their own reality. And me? I also see LOL4Ben as a group of people coming together to acknowledge that what happened was NOT okay and that together we will ensure change DOES happen.

Too strong?

Much love

Dalya 💙xx


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Dalya Shaw

Speaking Services | Writing Services

e: dalya@dalyashaw.com

Brisbane, Australia

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